|© rebecca collins|
Ask anyone that has been by my side during this surreal cancer journey what my most constant complaint would be and they would tell you it has nothing to do with hair loss, or nausea, instead I whine about not creating enough and not having an urge to create. With that said, I have throughout all of this been creating pet portraits and doing a great job of keeping up with business. My day job at Art Paw has been a wonderful source of normalcy and I have enjoyed all of my commission projects this year.
I have not been making mosaics and for that I beat myself up, I whine, and I feel a loss. At the end of a short 4 or 6 hour day at the computer I am tired and I do not feel like making art for myself. I watch TV, I play on-line scrabble, but I have not been making a lot of art. Today I was clearing my desk and I saw this cat sketch that I did just this last week in between Doctor's appointments. I am actually doing a lot more art than I am willing to give myself credit for. I would like to be working on a large 34 x 34 inch mosaic but every week, and every chemo session I am sketching. I am fitting creativity into "the new normal". I would bet that any of you artists out there that may be complaining about not having enough time to create, I bet if you look around at how you are living your life you will see that you are in fact fitting creativity in somewhere. You will find it in a well cooked meal, a beautifully wrapped package, a doodle on a cocktail napkin, there are hundreds of small ways we live creatively and yet we all hunger for the big projects. Life as an artist is not about the next big project.
|waiting room contour drawing|
© rebecca collins
|Water Tower Out my window ( Baylor)|
© rebecca collins